Snick Snek Paddywack: Danger Noodle Safety Tips

Mohave rattlesnake over dried red soil
Mojave rattlesnake at sunset.

Snakes, also known as danger noodles, sneks, or nope ropes are slithering around East Sacramento like they own the place. While some are harmless (those can be called slippery tube dudes), danger noodles get their name because they are full of venom (hurt juice) and they are not afraid to use it. Whether you refer to them as nope ropes or slippery tube dudes, here are some safety tips so the only kind of snakebite you experience are the kinds that mix lager and cider:

Safety Tip 1: Do Not Boop the Danger Noodle

All animals deserve boops, except if that animal is a nope rope. Snek boops could lead to hurt juice for you or your haired friends (dogs and cats). While you might boop your pup’s snoot, sneks don’t take kindly to boops from your pooch. If you see a snek in the wild, you should stay away because it is very hard to tell if it is a harmless tube dude or a venomous danger noodle. It’s better to accidentally shun a tube dude than to get within booping distance of a danger noodle. 

Safety Tip 2: Don’t Rock the Boat…Or Hiking Trail

In between a rock and a hard place you are likely to find a danger noodle. The best way to avoid an unexpected kiss on the lips from their pointy, poison-coated teeth is to steer clear of these rocks. Keep your hiking adventures to the trail and keep your fur boi or gurl on a short leash. If you see a slinking snek, don’t try to ask if its name is Tony or Ezekial and just say “nope,” outloud and move quickly in the other direction.

Safety Tip 3: If You Hear a Rattling, Don’t Come a Prattling 

Rattle sneks are among the most dangerous of all the danger noodles and their bite is full of some serious hurt juice. Luckily for us and our fur bois and gurls, these danger noodles like to announce their presence with a rattle. At first the sound might make you want to shake your hips, but don’t dance, just prance on down the hill. If you hear a rattling, don’t come a prattling…or exploring because the nope rope will defend its home against intruders with its hurt juice. Take your fur bois and gurls and move far away from your current location. 

Safety Tip 4: Clean Up the Danger Zone

Danger noodles like to snack on rat bois and rodent gurls, so if you want to keep them out of your space, you have to make it unattractive for their prey, which, coincidentally, makes it more attractive for you. Firewood? Nope. Big areas of brush? Nope again. Clean out the space and get rid of these rat caves and mouse dens before the nope rope slides into your yard…or your DMs and before you have to DM us for an emergency.
If your fur boi or gurl has lost a boop contenst with a nope rope, schedule an appointment with East Sacramento Veterinary Center so we can administer the yes juice (snake vaccine) and get him or her out of the danger noodle zone.